Is it common to have always to go through fearful situations in every meditation before achieving point-consciousness?
Is it common to have always to go through fearful
situations in every meditation before achieving point-consciousness? Here’s some context on why I’m asking this question.
I began meditating about a month ago so I’m trying everything. Guided meditations seems to help me, but nothing seemed to lead me to what is described as ‘point consciousness’. I found one of The Monroe Institute’s ‘course’ and gave it a try. On the one hand my focus went deeper, but on the other hand, some tools (and exercises) doesn’t seem to suit me. So I alternate TMI’s exercises with mindfulness meditation (while listening to binaural beats).
In one of my meditations my body was vibrating and I was ‘clicking off’, as if I was fighting against falling asleep. Suddenly, though, I realized that all dream-like images-situations required me to do something, nothing complicate, but I needed ‘to do’ something, and that was enough to drop my focus. So I stopped trying ‘to do’ something or to wave away the dream-feeling-images and began simply observing them. And as soon as I stopped ‘doing’ whatever it was that the situation demanded, these dreams-situations shifted and began presenting my worse fears and a sense of noise and vibration increased in my head. I began ‘clicking off’ and loosing focus again. I realized, again, that I should simply appreciate those fears without attachments (even though still scared). So I did and suddenly I was loose in the void with no sense of body, just emptiness, oneness and a clear-mindness as I have never experienced.
This all happened very fast. The feeling was amazing, but I was still a bit scared. Surprised and doubting that I have gotten myself into that stage, I lost it in a few seconds.
After this time I haven’t been able to experience it again, at least not with the same intensity. And only the meditations I end up in fearful situations (and manage to just appreciate without attachment) seems to lead me to a state close to the one I explained.
Which leads to my question: is it common to have always to go through fearful situations in every meditation before achieving point-consciousness?